I know I'm a little late to talk about Mother's Day, but am I the only one who doesn't really get Hallmark holidays? I have my parents to thank for that. We were never pressured to buy cheesy cards, chocolates, jewelry, tools etc. and especially not for the sake of obligation. Not that there's anything wrong with indulging in the cheesiness! It's just never been a big deal in our house.
Growing up, I remember my dad coaching me to do things like deal with the dishes, clean things, anything to help out around the house. I would do it, usually kind of begrudgingly because I was lazy, and I still am not exactly what you'd call a neat freak (just ask my husband). Nevertheless, my mom would always notice what was done and was very giddily appreciative. I was glad to make her happy, of course, but the magic was in the fact that my dad always made a point to tell me not to mention to my mom that it was his idea. He wasn't in it for credit, not brownie points. He orchestrated these things because he knew it would make my mom happy on a lot of levels. It made her happy with me, it crossed one thing off her perpetually mile-long "to-do" list. He knew that acts of service was how she receives love the most, it's one of her main "love languages".
I didn't fully understand the beauty of this until I became a spouse myself. What an art it is to learn how to make the one you love happy! Because let's face it, it's true. After the newness of a relationship wears off, when "Love is all you need!" becomes "How did all that clean laundry turn into a big, stinky mountain in no time flat?" and my personal favorite upon a late arrival home after a long, sweaty day,"What's for dinner?"... You have to get crafty with your selflessness.
What makes your partner feel the most love? Is it when they come home to chores being done that they expected to do themselves? Or Is it through physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation or a thoughtful gift? There's a book by Gary Chapman called 'The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate' that explains it all, which I highly recommend. There's also a website (5lovelanguages.com) on which you'll find an online assessment to find out what your love language(s) are (who doesn't love to indulge in an online quiz?). I, myself, am apparently bilingual in love. It's tie between acts of service and physical touch, which isn't totally surprising. I love it when Graham takes it upon himself to do what needs done, and a hug and kiss goodbye when I send him off to work each morning is a must. I know Graham loves coming home to a clean house and enjoying a home-cooked meal (even if it's a home-poured bowl of cereal) and he's delighted when we put our phones away in order to focus more on one another. We might not nail it 100% of the time, but we always give it our all, and at the end of the day that's what counts, right?
Of course, these love languages go beyond your romantic relationships, too. What are the love languages of your closest friends, your family, your children, yourself?
Ladies, if you feel like treating yourself to a relaxing evening covering some women's health topics along with enjoying an organic chocolate "bar" and sipping some bubbly, come join us for Ladies Night at Living Well Spine Center this Wednesday the 18th at 6:30 PM!